Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Next Year's Pride Parade Is Going To Be AWESOME!

It is no secret that I am a huge fan of cephalopods, squid in particular.  It is also no secret that I am a friend and fellow traveler of the, how shall we call them?  Gays.  Yes.  The gays.  8 arms; two penises; four boobies:  I like those combinations (and how spectacular would a combination of all three of those be?).

So, this article, which describes a new discovery of homosexual activity among a 5 1/2 inch deep-sea squid tickled my fancy.  Technically, the squid have no sexual orientation, but that does not stop males from mating with both females and males down within the briny deep.  When a squid inseminates a female, it is called reproduction.  When a squid aims its liquid gold at a male, it is called - wait for it - "traumatic insemination."  And, boy howdy, if I ever see the inside of a birthing class again, I'll eagerly use this phrase at least a dozen times before ceasing to find it funny and leaving in search of a large snack.

Here's a description of the process.  Technically, it's safe for work since science knows no impropriety.  But if you don't snicker at this at least a little bit then you're as dead to me as your soul is to you.

"The way the squid mate is something else. Little is known about the details but it seems that the male ejaculates a packet of sperm at the mating partner, and the packet turns inside out, essentially shooting the sperm contained in a membrane into the flesh of the partner, where they stay embedded until the female (if the shooter has been lucky) is ready to fertilize its eggs. If males are the recipient of these rocket sperm, they are just stuck with them. It is the kind of mating that would make a good video game."

Now, I'm not a gamer, but I'd invest in any system for which this game was created.  Also delightful is the name of the scientific article first reporting same-sex squid behavior - "A Shot in the Dark: Same-sex Sexual Behavior in Deep-sea Squid."  Brilliant, I say!  BRILLIANT!

Relatedly, I bought Livy an octopus costume for Halloween.  I wonder how long it would take to dye it rainbow?  Hmmmmmmm...

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