Monday, January 31, 2011

Two New Members of the List Family!

Previous entries here and here, but now please welcome

102 (or thereabouts).  Go on Jeopardy, win money, and express extreme disappointment in Alex Trebek's moustachiolessness.



103 (or thereabouts).  One time, randomly, in a spirit of celebrating the mundane, buy the next round for the entire bar.  Bonus points for telling everyone it's because I found out that I'm pregnant after I dramatically drain my glass.


Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Buy Yourself This After You Stick a Sock in it.

Hi, folks!  Yes, I am aware that I have been a neglectful blogger.  And, no, I will not be picking up the pace just yet.  We are excited here at Me Show HQ about our upcoming location to a WHOLE NEW HQ.  So posts will be less frequent as we box up our goods and transport them to our new digs a whopping 10 blocks away.  Oh, Ballard!  I just can't quit you!

Until then, suck it up.  Let this be your inspiration.
Follow my lead, plebes!  Get your copy of this poster here.

Or, if you're really desperate for some hot Me Show action, then get your parasitic arse over here and pack a box or two to hasten my return.  We are currently accepting applications for Moving Buddies, so submit yours today!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Tidbits and Whatnots

I haven't posted in over a week, which is dangerous when one has such a devoted fan base of obsessive parents, in-laws, and grandparents as I have.  But Livy, SLB, and I have been sick - REAL SICK - all over again, and I haven't wanted to take pictures or observe my own life, let alone formulate coherent blog posts about any of it.

So, here.  This is what you get.

1.  I have a cousin named Candice (known better as Kansas, Gorkus, Candy, and Candybaby).  She is awesome and can kill you with one shot from a hundred paces, no shit.  She's in the Navy and just got back from overseas where she fixed aircraft and did not have to put her sharpshooting skills to use, thank goodness.  She is as stubborn and hard-hearted as I am, and our family has speculated about the potential outcome of a fistfight between the two of us for decades.  Now that she can do a million pushups in a minute or whatever the military requires and I'm a squishy mom speculation has dwindled to... well... this blog post.

Livy is convinced that Candy is a celebrity because she's in 3 of the pictures on our fridge.  That means a lot when your exposure to the world generally consists of trips to the grocery store and reading a book about a mermaid parade 7 times a day.

2.  We are bad parents.

It's my kid in a box!  (Anyone wanting to make a joke about her birth will have to remember that I had a C-section).

3.  The Deschutes Brewery in Portland has both delicious beer and crafty beer bottle holiday lights.  There are tiny holes drilled in the back of the bottles to accommodate the twinkle lights that are strung behind the whole row.  If I ever get a fancy glass-bottle-hole-drilling machine I might make some of these.  But most likely I'll just post them here.

Perfect for a man cave.  O.K., the coast is clear; you can make your vagina joke now.

4.  With all due respect to The Pipettes, The Morah and I are the prettiest girls you've ever met.

We wear interesting jackets like the future candidates wives we are fast becoming.

5.  One of the best things about sharing a camera with SLB are the secret gems he leaves me on our memory card.  Viking dog agrees.

Jag håller med.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have more expectorating to do.

Sunday, January 02, 2011

Whistler's Daughter

"When I was your age I had to walk to school uphill both ways...

...BOTH ways, dammit."

Saturday, January 01, 2011

So This Is the New Year

Oh, hell, you all knew I was going to quote this song, didn't you?  Yeah, act surprised.  I'll consider it a late Christmas gift.

The funny thing is that I actually do feel somewhat different.  I'm approaching 2011 with a different goal than I usually do.  I've written before how my resolution lists are generally multi-page affairs with cross-referenced headings and numerous sub-headings and -goals, but not this year.  I've simplified it to one word and one action.  The word for this year is Energy, since I feel like my attention and vitality were sucked dry last year by family traumas and poor SAHM life management skills (Pajamas 'til 11?  Why the hell not?!  And, hey, who needs to go outside anyway when we have books inside?).  So this year, as of yesterday actually, I'm attempting to pay attention to where my, um, attention and time go rather than ruminating on sadness and miring myself in the couch cushions.  So far, so good.  And the action to accompany this single-word intention into the new year is to go to the gym every weekday morning before SLB gets up and leaves for work, barring only my sickness or his travel.   This will aid in approaching my life with vigor (Why do I always want to pronounce that loudly and with a thick New England accent - VIGAH! - like an enthusiastic Katharine Hepburn or Kennedy?) because 1) duh, it's exercise, 2) I can already be up, fed, and dressed by the time Livy gets up, and 3) it'll force me to go to bed early.  Win-win-win!



Also, since this is a time for resolutions and my lovely friend Carolina, she of the fabulous Kittens and Grits, namechecked me heartily in a new post on her life list, I'll make up for lost time and update you on my life list (part 1, part 2).

Things I've done:
17. Go out for a lovely meal with excellent food and spectacular service BY MYSELF.
I took myself out to Steelhead Diner one day for lunch while my mom took care of Livy.  It was delightful and decadent for about 10 minutes, after which time I got lonely and wanted some company to talk to about my delicious meal.  I do love being alone and take pleasure in my own company, but I love talking to other people about food even more.  Solo movies, plays, and travel are all cool - but eating alone just isn't my bag, apparently.

20. Fit back into my wedding rings.
There's more than one way to skin a cat, so instead of going on a forced march of punitive dieting I had a jeweler enlarge my rings by half a size.  I even picked them up on my way to Steelhead Diner.  Victory!

24. Attend one of Christine Kane’s retreats.
I've compromised on this for now and am taking her Uplevel Your Life course at home.  It starts in earnest on Monday, and I'm so excited!  What a better time to get clear and conscious about your life than at the New Year, eh?

40. Learn how to stand up for myself without resorting immediately to nuclear options.
This is clearly ongoing, but 2010 has been a banner year for setting logical boundaries and communicating calmly and clearly.

48. Vacation in the San Juans with Livy and SLB
49. Take Livy and SLB whale watching
Done and done, friends.

58. Make this silly little house feel like a silly little home.
This, too, is ongoing, but is going well.  I've decluttered like a mutha this year, and we even decorated for Halloween AND Christmas.  Also, we've hung more than 3 pictures on our walls after 5 years of living here. It's almost like we live here or something.

65. Invest in good food, good bras, and good shoes.
Yes, yes, and yes.

84. Come to a decision on the tattoo issue.
The answer is "no."  What appeals to me now is hardly likely to appeal to me in 10 years, just as the tattoo I wanted 10 years ago would seem trite and childish now.  Unless I get really drunk and get John Hancock's signature inked above my C-section scar, I shall die untatted.

It suits me, no?

85. Drink more champagne.
It's now my standard aperitif when we go out to a nice meal.

92. Watch AFI’s 100 best films
Working on it (And who are you mofos who like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid?  Top 100?  Seriously?  Likewise, Network.  Faye Dunaway's nipples do not a good movie make.  Chinatown (Faye Dunaway's nipples and all) and Annie Hall are two new favorites, though.)

Oh for the love.  A temporally incongruous musical interlude will never convince me that this useless scene is charming.

100. Love this little family, and tell them I love them every, every, every day
Well, yeah.  Of course.

AND I got rid of the secret item on the list that I wouldn't tell you about.  I'm still not telling, either.

So, thanks to Carolina for helping me remember my list!  I think I'll print it out and put it in my planner to remind me of my awesome goals.  

So, what's on your lists, friends?  And what did you do this year to fulfill it?