So, here. This is what you get.
1. I have a cousin named Candice (known better as Kansas, Gorkus, Candy, and Candybaby). She is awesome and can kill you with one shot from a hundred paces, no shit. She's in the Navy and just got back from overseas where she fixed aircraft and did not have to put her sharpshooting skills to use, thank goodness. She is as stubborn and hard-hearted as I am, and our family has speculated about the potential outcome of a fistfight between the two of us for decades. Now that she can do a million pushups in a minute or whatever the military requires and I'm a squishy mom speculation has dwindled to... well... this blog post.
Livy is convinced that Candy is a celebrity because she's in 3 of the pictures on our fridge. That means a lot when your exposure to the world generally consists of trips to the grocery store and reading a book about a mermaid parade 7 times a day.
2. We are bad parents.
It's my kid in a box! (Anyone wanting to make a joke about her birth will have to remember that I had a C-section).
3. The Deschutes Brewery in Portland has both delicious beer and crafty beer bottle holiday lights. There are tiny holes drilled in the back of the bottles to accommodate the twinkle lights that are strung behind the whole row. If I ever get a fancy glass-bottle-hole-drilling machine I might make some of these. But most likely I'll just post them here.
Perfect for a man cave. O.K., the coast is clear; you can make your vagina joke now.
4. With all due respect to The Pipettes, The Morah and I are the prettiest girls you've ever met.
We wear interesting jackets like the future candidates wives we are fast becoming.
5. One of the best things about sharing a camera with SLB are the secret gems he leaves me on our memory card. Viking dog agrees.
Jag håller med.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have more expectorating to do.