We Took The Long Way

Last Tuesday was SLB's and my 8th wedding anniversary.  He surprised me with tickets to tonight's Rhett Miller show at the Triple Door, where we were certain to hear our wedding song, "Question."  You know, just like you're certain to hear it now.



Happy belated anniversary, SLB.  I'd say O.K. all over again every day, all the time, forever.

End of Summer

Hi there, people!  Tomorrow is September - no joke! - which means, meteorological calendars aside, I am declaring an end to summer and the beginning of autumn.  I love the fall.  As a longtime student and sometime teacher, fall has always meant new beginnings and fresh starts to me.  SLB and I got married in early September for this very reason.  September is a breath of fresh air and a chance to start anew.  It makes me think of newly sharpened pencils and possibilities.  In this calendrical and inspirational vein, I'll be starting some new writing projects on and off of this blog soon.  Summer's over, and it's time to hunker down and do something good, dammit.  But, until midnight when I become all virtuous and productive, let's linger over fine summer memories, shall we?

Like that time I took Livy to the Ballard water park, where she proved that a fleece Viking hat is, in fact, all-weather gear.

Pillaging knows no season.

Or that time I rode a mechanical bull in Las Vegas.

In hindsight, the blouson peasant top wasn't my most flattering bull-riding option.  Learn from my example, people.

Or that time I made forty-freaking-eight cupcakes, along with forty-freaking-eight cupcake toppers for Livy's 2nd birthday party.

I'm crafty.  I'm just your type.

Because I have an embarrassing tendency to do dumb things like this in the presence of a camera...

... let's let this sweet picture of Liv and her good friend Margaret stand in for the touching one of Liv and me that never manifested.

Or that time we went to the Oregon coast to play and to Sauvie Island to meet some new friends.

Livy LOVED the beach...

...

...

... until she didn't.

Handsome Baby Jake may be Sauvie Island's newest resident...

... but Livy preferred the goats.

Or the time we saw my boyfriend Steve play at the Snoqualmie Casino.

Flawlessly silver.  Flawlessly foxy.

Or that time I read 9 horny vampire novels in 6 weeks?

So far #9 was the best.

Or that time that Toddlers & Tiaras started making sense.

Bathing, basking belly.

As you can see, it's been a fantastic summer for frolicking and fun.  But my pencils are sharp, the tags are freshly off of my school clothes, and I've got a Trapper Keeper full of fresh college-ruled paper.  Summer's been great, but fall is here, and that's time to shine.

Two New Members of the List Family!

Previous entries here and here, but now please welcome

102 (or thereabouts).  Go on Jeopardy, win money, and express extreme disappointment in Alex Trebek's moustachiolessness.

Good.

Better.

103 (or thereabouts).  One time, randomly, in a spirit of celebrating the mundane, buy the next round for the entire bar.  Bonus points for telling everyone it's because I found out that I'm pregnant after I dramatically drain my glass.

Viva!

2/5, Holiday Edition

Remember that one time when I confessed that Jack Black and Jason Segel represent 2 of my 5 celebrity "gimmes"?  Did you also know that they made a cartoon of themselves singing one of my favorite Christmas carols, the David Bowie/Bing Crosby version of "Little Drummer Boy"?

Well, they did.



Merry Christmas to me!

he Is Always Lowercase

Ooh La La!  The French - they have a word for everything.

My first real adolescent crush was on Steve Martin, and he has remained in my "Allowable Celebrity Lay" Top 5 ever since I saw him in L.A. Story on HBO when I was about 13.  Not only was he handsome (I am a true sucker for a silver fox [I'm talking to you, Eric Ripert.]) and funny, but I could tell from the writing in that movie that, colonic irrigation jokes aside, he was smart.  It was the first time that it had occurred to me that smart could also mean attractive, a notion that both gave me hope for my own gawky, flat-chested, braniac self and for the prospect of finding my own more age-appropriate Steve Martin one day.

I may be smooching you, SLB, but I'm thinking about The Jerk.

And I suppose that in many ways, I did just that.  But until SLB's flawless mahogany locks salt themselves pepperless, part of my heart will always be Steve's, especially because of this song.  I used to tease my former mouthy student and current mouthy babysitter, who is also a devout Christian, about the dearth of decent Christian music.  She never thought to tease me about the complete lack of any atheist music, and now she can't.  Suck it, babysitter Jenny!  See you next time SLB and I go out!  Thanks, boyfriend Steve!  See you in my dirty, godless dreams!

2/5

This video represents 2 out of my 5 celebrity "freebies" performing the awesome song that elevated Forgetting Sarah Marshall from a funny movie to a funny movie with an awesome song.  Seriously, when the movie ended with the Dracula puppet musical, I hoped and wished on every star that that musical would become reality and tour the nation.  But, I guess Dad Solo's beloved Glimmer Twins (Is "Glimmer" British slang for The Clap?) had it right, and I can't always get what I want.  But this, this is also what I want:



You can't even begin to imagine how excited I was to find this video.  If Youtube had "repeat" function, I'd be all over it.

(Edited to add:  How the heck are these people not my friends?  Warning - contains swears, farts, and references to the structural integrity of various and sundry anuses)

On Pleasure

Another reason I'll love Nigella Lawson forever.  This, from an episode of Nigella's Christmas Kitchen, my new favorite show:

"I don't have any guilty pleasures, because I don't think that pleasure is something that you should ever feel guilty about."

Sigh.

And we loved with a love that was more than love... because it included bacon.

Love, Like Justice, Is Blind

I have a type.  I was thinking of this in terms of some tabloid TV show's promised countdown of the hottest guys of the past decade, which prompted me to consider my own list.  This is what I came up with.

1.  Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

The more shirtless (less shirted?), the better.

2.  Naveen Andrews

Slightly too much shirt.

3.  Jimmy Smits

Criminally over-shirted.

4.  Javier Bardem

Charmingly shirtless, and now with 25% more erection!

All are barrel-chested caramel-hued men.  All are the exact opposite of the man I married, who looks more like this than any other celebrity I can imagine:

Flowers?  For me?  Oh, SLB, you shouldn't have!

When asked if he wanted to be represented by Teenwolf or Alex P. Keaton, SLB requested Doc Hollywood.  Noted and delivered, my love.

Fate, she is a cruel mistress.  But then so am I, so I suppose we'll call it no harm, no foul.