Saturday, July 30, 2011


(First, a warning to my readers with delicate sensibilities.  This post is full of lewd jokes and double [even triple!] entendres.  So, if you're made uncomfortable by this kind of talk [DAD], then please look at this instead.  All others please proceed.)

Friends, I have good news and bad news.  The bad first.

The Mariners are trading Doug Fister, whose name has brought me endless joy and jokes, to the Detroit Tigers.

Awww, come on!  Hasn't Detroit been fisted enough?

Now the good news:  In exchange we are picking up Charlie Furbush.  Did you catch that, subtle readers of this subtle blog?  We traded FISTER for FURBUSH.  I guess one in the fist really is worth fur in the bush.

Everyone likes a freshly shaved Furbush.


Carolina said...

Well this is a stimulating development. A real step forward in the erection of a better baseball team. Hopefully this way the Mariners can make good on some loaded sacks situations.

Christina said...

I agree! Luckily, Furbush really has a handle on his splitter and doesn't lose his cool when someone charges the mound. And he certainly can hold his own when it comes to ball-handling skills.

(apropos of absolutely nothing: last week at breakfast i asked for honey for my biscuit. when the waiter left to get some he asked me to "split [my] biscuit" before his return. i thought slb and i were going to explode with suppressed laughter.)

Dad Solo said...

This is not right. They should be on the same team. Roommates, even. It just seems that Fister and Furbush go together.

Christina said...

i know, right? when i found out this morning i called my mom (that's just the kind of family we are), and she said something about this being lucky. "NO!," i screamed, "THEY SHOULD PLAY TOGETHER!" then we changed the subject to Livy's bathroom habits (we are that kind of family, too).

Brianna said...

Best sports article I have ever read.