Saturday, May 22, 2010

Special Guest Star: Juniper!

Today marks a historical event on the Me Show.  This is the first ever baby Special Guest Star, Juniper!

Say "Hi," Juniper!

"I prefer not to.  I have a discerning salutational palate."

There was a time when Juniper would have preferred to say "Hi" to you, me, strangers, dangers, dogs, cats, and signposts.  When we first met she was a leetle baby whose mama, Tonja, was in the same Listening Mothers group that I was.  And BOY was Juniper a delightful distraction in that group.  We'd be trying to have earnest discussions about our innermost maternal feelings, and Juniper would be smiling, kicking, giggling, and engaging us in every baby-flirtatious activity possible.  She has since learned to play hard to get, which is at once soul crushing when she only wants her mama and deeply rewarding when she finally acknowledges me with a smile or the heavens open up and she lets me snuggle her.  There are many times when I'll come home from our book group spinoff of the Listening Mothers group, SLB will ask how it went, and my answer will be something like "Juniper let me hold her hand!  The rest was O.K."

Tonja, who also thought the baby symphony was going to be The Symphony and dressed up (ha, ha, sucker!), and a sleeping Juniper.  Also, all the cool moms have Ergos.  Let the peer pressure begin!

Fun facts about Juniper:

*Juniper is fantastic at locomoting across rooms and homes, but one wouldn't exactly call it crawling because she only uses one leg.  So she'll scoot-drag herself with amazing speed, considering that there's alwasy a "dead leg" dragging behind her.  I tried convincing Tonja to use this skill in Juniper's career as a child beggar, but I don't think she took me seriously.  I suppose there are other ways to earn a college education, but I don't know what they are.

*Once when I was carrying Livy around in the Ergo and showing her different plants in the neighborhood I told her that the bush in front of our house was a juniper.  She got all excited and looked around frantically for her friend.  I felt like a heel for being a Juniper-tease.  We don't talk about that bush anymore.

*Juniper has a big patch of hair on her head that is much, MUCH longer than the rest of her hair.  Livy has a couple of these hairs on top of her head that we call OTB, Original To Baby.  They're the hairs that survived the follicular holocaust that led to baldness and subsequent regrowth.  Juniper has A LOT of them.

Tonja getting ready to show off the OTB's.  Wait for iiiiiit...

OTB's in effect, y'all!  Sideways Cindy Lou who!

Love that baby!  Love that mama, too, but LOVE that baby!

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