Thursday, March 18, 2010
Clearly It's Time to Invest in Pearls
I am turning into Donna Reed.
Exhibit A: Yesterday I thought to myself how good Olivia's new diaper rash cream smells. It really is a lovely scent - something like a gentle floral mixed with the astringent sweetness of green tea. Then I recalled that her organic diaper cream smells even better but doesn't work as well and that the name brand cream works the best but smells the worst. Yes, friends. I am now a connoisseur of ass cream to such an extent that I can compare them and form educated opinions based on efficacy and aesthetics. Ass cream, I have mastered your nuances!
Exhibit B: A while back after Olivia sent all of my sweatshirts down to the laundry with various combinations of spit up, drool, and snot, I considered wearing an apron all day to protect my clothing. But then I realized that I needed an apron with sleeves. Yes! That's it! I would invent an apron with sleeves specifically for babycare and housework! Then it dawned on me that I had reinvented the housecoat, AND I WANTED ONE.