See, here's the thing: SLB actually has some potential to become Someone and be Important in his career and in the general larger world. The odds of me rising above the lowly station of this blog are decidedly slim.
In short, he is a fancypants. I am a poopypants. It is best for me not to sully his fancy with my poopy.
So, his likeness and actual name will never appear here. If ever you need a visual aid when I write about SLB, please consider this:
It makes us both feel better about ourselves.
If ever you need to visualize me in the course of reading this blog, please consider this:
I was seeing if I could take the ugliest photo of myself imaginable. Mission accomplished, no? SLB protested my posting this photo on the interweb, saying that it's "too special." But I think that you're special, readers, and you deserve such a photo. If you can't have SLB's beauty, at least you can have my beastliness.