HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

What's up, peeps, or should I say disciples?  It's my Jesus year, so bring me some water, and I will turn it into pink champagne, drink it, and then burp so loudly that your eardrums burst and you bleed from the ears.

I said nothing about being a benevolent deity.

Also I'm going to treat myself to this, a mug featuring this image,

because I am also a Goddamn liar.

Happy birthday to me!  May my 33rd be the best and holiest yet!