Friday, February 19, 2010

Big Meanie

Before today the meanest thing I'd ever done to a child was to call my students on a snow day to assign them homework.  Mean, right?  It seemed a desecration of something holy worse than the time I swore in Mass when I got a splinter in the back of my leg from an old pew while surrounded by 11 year old girls whom I was supposed to be supervising as their homeroom teacher.  The holy spirit was not with me that day, nor was it with me as I called and, God help me, WOKE UP students to tell them to do their homework.  It was boss-mandated, or else I never would have done it, and I still feel dirty for having broken the sanctity of the sacred snow day at an administrative behest.  Never again.

Today was worse, though.  Far worse.  I interrupted this peaceful nap, clearly a deep and satisfying late morning sleep.  I saw a dreaming baby and ripped her from her tranquil slumber.

Fleece jammies?  Check.  Kitty?  Check.  Foul-smellling, chewed-on burp rag?  Check.

Why would I do this to my beloved child, you ask?  Here's the meanie kicker.  I woke her up from this perfect rest to take her to the pediatrician to get her flu boosters.  That's right, I awakened this sleeping angel so that she could get shots.

And that, my friends, is why I'll be riding an eternal rotisserie in Hell.  See you there!

1 comment:

Matty Bucks said...

Look at this way: Wake her from a sleep, but ultimately short slumber OR risk allowing her to get an illness that will put her to sleep forever!